Monday, February 25, 2013

Gotta Have A Gimmick

One of the things that I had no clue about before having Arthur was the whole concept of "Mommy Wars." I had briefly heard the term "parenting style," probably in a sociology course once, but it wasn't something I paid much attention to.
Now that I have a kid, it's hard to get away from all the varieties.

Attachement Parenting.
Crunchy Mamas.
Tiger Parents.

On top of all the blogs specifically designed for parents who follow the guidelines of all the different styles out there, I also have a whole lot of friends who have kids. And those friends (who I keep up with through social media) all have different ways of raising their kids. Those ways shine through in their updates, pictures, blog posts etc...

I find I have one of two reactions to almost anything people post about their kids.

Jealousy or Judgement.

Neither of those are emotions I particularly like feeling, and I'm pretty ashamed to admit it. Unfortunately, the truth is the truth. I either see something and think "Oh my gosh, how could she do that, doesn't she KNOW...." or I think "Look at her, she looks like such a perfect mom, how could I not..." My immediate reactions feed right into those "Mommy War" stereotypes we hear so much about. And like the articles I've read have told me, and the blogs I've read have explained to me, and the people I've talked to have sympathized with's because of my own insecurities about motherhood.

I don't feel that I look like a mom.
I can't keep my house clean.
I had a c-section.
Sometimes (a lot of times) I use disposable diapers.

The list could go on and on. I have to constantly remind myself that I don't have to have a "style." That I can agree with Dr. Sears on most things, but not have to agree with all the women on an attachement parenting site. That I can look up to my peers who I seem to think are doing a better job than me, and still recognize that they probably have their own lists. I can feed Arthur an organic orange and processed off-brand cheez-its in the same exact meal.

Yup, he's watching TV. 

Yup, he's wearing an old T-shirt as a Bib and playing while he should be eating. 

Yup, he's wearing daddy's socks, a too big sweater and a hat that still has the tag on it. 
Yup I let him wear that all day.