I want to believe

Colorado is beautiful.
My husband is beautiful.
Our love is beautiful.
This blog post our wedding photographer wrote is beautiful.

You know what’s NOT beautiful?
The fact that my husband just got sent on a deployment until election day.

So I’m not going to talk about that.
I’m going to talk about something that makes me happy instead.
Hooray happiness!

Television makes me happy. It really does. People rail on and on about how evil television is. They call it “the dumb box”...it sucks out your brain and makes you and your children and the old lady down the street turn into useless zombies. This can be TOTALLY true. “Teen Mom” totally turns me into a zombie. The other day I was making dinner and I ended up sitting on the edge of the coffee table for 20 minutes with a spatula held upright in my hand watching the trials and tribulations of our dear friends Farrah, Macy, Catelynn and Amber. So yeah...TV can definitely be zombie inducing.
On the other hand, I think it is INCREDIBLE that we live in a time where theatre...where ART can meet us in our living rooms. There is a lot of crap out there. But there is also a lot of great, quality, didactic programming as well. And all we have to do to access it is pick up a remote.
FANTASTIC.

The boy and I (as I mentioned before) have been watching our way through X-Files. We felt we really couldn’t qualify ourselves as “nerds” if we had never watched it.
I mean really. Who did we think we were?

Going into it, this is what I knew about the X-Files: Scully and Mulder are some kind of government agents who look for aliens while fighting their growing sexual tensions and massive government conspiracies.
The end.
Now, as we approach the end of the 6th season, this is what I know about the X-Files: Scully and Mulder are FBI agents who look for aliens while fighting their growing sexual tensions and massive government conspiracies.

Really. That’s the X-Files in a nutshell. 

There are things I definitely like about it. There are also things that I really can’t stand. And other things that bugged me at first that I’ve since gotten over.
I feel like I really really really would have enjoyed it had I been old enough to watch it when it first came out. The X-Files is one of the shows credited with inventing the modern “story arc” television series. Before the X-Files, most shows were incredibly episodic with no theme tying everything together. The problem as a modern viewer, however, is that we are really used to story arcs. Really tight story arcs, ones that the producers and writers have had planned out since the beginning. Comparing the X-Files to shows by Joss Whedon and JJ Abrams is like comparing “2001: A Space Odyssey” to “Avatar”. Yeah, they’re the same genre...but there have been so many advances in technology and story telling techniques in between them that the first, to someone who didn’t see it when it came out, is almost laughable. X-Files can be frustratingly repetitive, the characters have a tendency to grow or learn in one episode then revert to old ways by the next episode. I mean really....how much does Scully have to see before she starts believing? Really?
Speaking of Scully, this show screams of early 90s sexism. Maybe because my mother is so strong and independent, maybe because I had other strong females in my life, I never realized I grew up in such a sexist time period. Scully is the only woman in the first several seasons who is not portrayed as a victim or someone’s mother. She is constantly landing herself in the hospital. Mulder is hardly EVER the victim, he’s too busy saving Scully.
It drives me crazy.
There are things I do like. I like how ridiculous it can sometimes be, it reminds me a little of Dr. Who. I like the three nerds that help them out, they call themselves “The Lone Gunmen” and it turns out they had a spin-off series at some point. We are totally going to look for that. I like that it’s all about conspiracies and the possibility that the good guys are sometimes the bad guys...and sometimes people are both.

We’ll see how I like the final three seasons and movie (and then I can check off one of the things on my 30 before 30, woot). Honestly, I just want to get this over with so we can start back up on Star Trek.

And that's my new philosophy

In my high school, everyone wanted to take a class with a man named Ernie Gulner. He taught The Bible as Literature and Philosophy. It was a really important class to a lot of people. I have to admit, it was an important class to me too.

One of the books we read in the class was “The Alchemist” by Paulo Cohelo. He has become one of my favorite authors, but that first book I read of his will always have a special place in my heart. Probably one of the more famous lines, and one that I remind myself of on a pretty frequent basis is this:

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

My momma the minister refers to this phenomenon as a “God thing.”

Whatever you want to call it, it happened to me recently in the most clear and obvious way. I read a blog post from an old childhood friend one day. It hit me hard...really hard. And I decided that’s it. I’m done with this “circumstances are what they are, my husband and I have to live apart right now” thing. I’m just done. I got online that night, applied for seven jobs in Pueblo and drafted a resignation letter. By the time I had a chance to turn in the resignation letter I had had a phone interview. At the end of the phone conversation, they offered me a live interview. They wanted to schedule it for the next weekend. I already had a plane ticket to fly to Colorado for that weekend. About an hour after my live interview, they called and offered me the job. And it’s a good job, in my field, working for people I care about.

I think the universe totally conspired. God did God’s thing.

In this horrible economy, where people go months, even years not finding work, I was able to have probably the easiest job search in the history of mankind. How did this happen? Seriously? How did I get so lucky?

I blame it on letting go. I was fighting to hold onto something...don’t ask me what. Probably control. Once I just let go, things fell into place just the way they were meant to.

And I’m so happy that I get to live with this guy...

In ONE WEEK!!!!

Pitter, Patter, What's the Matter With Me?

I was doing so well on the "keeping up with my blog" thing.
And then...and then...my basement...where my bedroom, and my den, and pretty much everything I own decided to look like this.


or maybe this



or more like this



Well...I may be exaggerating a little bit. But still. I've spent almost every minute of every day for a week cleaning and laundering and trying to dry out my life.

I recently made a big life decision.
But I can't tell you yet.
It's tearing me up inside to not tell you, interwebz. It really is. I hate keeping secrets from you.
But I'll tell you soon...maybe after the mildew smell leaves my nostrils.

Over the Hill, I'll be Over the Hill

So has anyone else heard of 30 before 30? It's sort of like a bucket list...but obviously shorter. Things you want in just the next few years. Assuming you're in your late 20s. Which I am. Still. Thankfully.
The things are things you want...want to accomplish, do, become. I decided to make one. These are all things I've had in my head for quite some time, but I wanted to get it all out on paper. I feel like it might make me more accountable. I'll update you as I get things accomplished.

30 Before 30

1. Read all 87 Pulitzer Prize winning novels (0/87)
2. Take an overseas trip with the Boy
3. Get Pregnant
4. Finish the X-Files (4/11)
5. Finish all of Star Trek (5/42)
6. Watch the “100 Greatest Movies of All Time” (45/100)
7. Host a grown-up dinner party
8. Finish at least 4 quilts (0/4)
9. See Daniel Radcliffe perform on Broadway
10. Go to a music festival
11. Take piano lessons
12. Read 10 novels in French (0/10)
13. Get out of debt
14. Take at least one graduate-level course
15. Attend a professional conference
16. Live together with the Boy in the same place for over a year...at least 13 months (0/13)
17. Go Horseback riding
18. Go stargazing with our new telescope
19. Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter
20. Own a really really really nice camera
21. Run a 10K
22. Go on a mission trip
23. Be on the board of a non-profit or at church
24. See a professional sports game
25. Practice “Meatless Mondays” for at least 6 months (0/6)
26. Join a CSA
27. Try a new recipe at least twice a month (0/72)
28. Open an Etsy shop
29. Win an Election
30. Own a new vehicle

And yes, I should probably work on getting as many of these done before #3...but we'll see how that goes.

I miss the music, I miss the song

So have I mentioned that I live precisely 785 miles from my husband?
Well...I do. How bizarro is that?
We’ve lived apart since April. This means that it’s been 4 months now. Out of those 4 months, we’ve seen each other 3 times.
One time in May we each drove a really long way and met up in Wichita, Kansas for the weekend. That’s how much I love this guy...I was willing to go to KANSAS. I guess he loves me too, since his opinion of Kansas can pretty much be summed up with this picture.

What can I say? We both went to Mizzou!

The second time we saw each other, we got married. Taken out of context, that sentence could be really funny! Seriously though, he flew in to Kansas City, I drove down from Des Moines and picked him up. Then we drove to Columbia together, had a rehearsal, a rehearsal dinner, a wedding, and a wedding reception. We followed this with a 3 day “mini-moon” in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Then I drove him back to the airport and we said goodbye. It was a huge blur.

Our wedding was pretty fabulous though, I’m not going to lie.

Aren’t the folks at Avia Photography amazing?

The last time we saw each other was over the Fourth of July. We spent the day Saturday exploring Pueblo. On Sunday, we drove up to meet some friends, visit the Rocky Mountain National Park and watch fireworks. Then on Monday we checked out Boulder and Denver and I flew home that evening.

Snowballs! On Independence Day!

If you were keeping count that’s 12 days in 4 months. This is after 4 years together. Seriously 4 years TOGETHER. As in we’ve spent practically every day with each other since we officially became a couple. The longest we’ve ever spent apart before was when he went to Mexico with his family in 2007. That was 6 days and I thought I was going to die.
How do we do it?

Well, we don’t do it all that well. I notice us bickering over the DUMBEST things. I cry all the time. In fact, I spend every Saturday bawling in my car in the parking lot of my church. EVERY SATURDAY. I generally have to sprint out at the end of the service so no one will see me lose it. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t eaten anything other than Spaghetti or Chipotle in about a month. And our dog is going through all the classic signs of traumatized post-divorce children.

But we have the benefit of technology. We have video chat and cell phones and Facebook.
We have both been watching the X-Files on Netflix and it’s almost like watching it together.
And we both have thrown ourselves into our work.

Hopefully, this whole thing is very temporary. We will be together again soon. For the next 60+ years or so.
And my next post will be a little more happy-go-lucky. Maybe I’ll tell you what I think about the darn X-Files.

Signing off...

Good Night and Good Luck....

Have a pleasant tomorrow...


Ok, I’m still working on how to end these things.

Wilkommen, Bienvenu, Welcome!

I might as well start this blog with a confession. I am addicted to the blogosphere. My google reader is out of control, I can barely get through glancing through all my un-read articles in one day, and I have never once actually read every single post. I mostly follow blogs about housekeeping, homesteading, cooking, baking, gardening, crafts and antiquing/vintage treasure hunting. Oh...and weddings. I have a thing for weddings. I truly have an interest in the subjects of the blogs I follow. The problem? I’m a horrible housekeeper. I don’t homestead (although the Boy and I dream of having a farm like this one someday). I cook and bake...but rarely deviate from the same 20 recipes. I haven’t planted anything since the bean sprouts you plant in a Styrofoam cup in 4th grade. I scrapbook and quilt...but I’m really pretty terrible. I can barely thread my sewing machine properly. In fact I’ve only had it for a few months. I’m too broke to buy any of the vintage treasures or antiques I find in real life or on the interwebs. And I was probably the most disorganized future Mrs. on the planet.
My other problem? It’s this: I don’t feel like I have all that much in common with most of the women out there writing blogs about the things I’m into. Isn’t that weird? Wouldn’t you think that I would, since we like the same things?

Here’s the deal.

For the most part, they are: Women in their 30s-40s, 
married
, Stay at Home Moms who homeschool their kids. They are people with backgrounds in graphic design/fashion/interior design/art




. They all seem to be amazing photographers who are 

religiously conservative, politically conservative, 

perfect at everything and 
not into anything geeky.

On the other hand,

I am: In my mid-20s, married (but living hundreds of miles away from my husband), working for a non-profit (long hours, low pay and an unsteady schedule), no kids, though I do want to be a SAHM someday. When I am a mom, 
I will never home-school my kids. I believe wholeheartedly in the power and worth of the Public Education system. 
My background is in political organizing and theatre. And the care of Special Needs Individuals. And LGBT rights. And women’s rights. And civil rights in general. And the labor movement. And a whole bunch of other things that will in no way help me design or run a blog
. My only camera is an old Kodak EasyShare with a cracked screen
. I consider myself a Progressive Christian...very progressive, very Christian
. I'm lousy at everything
 and I'm into everything Geeky (Stars (both Wars and Trek), Joss Whedon, Reading fantasy literature, video games, musical theatre...you get the picture.

This is me...

hey.

Anywho, I can’t help thinking there are other people out there like me. People who want a blog from a person who is their age, and is traditional, but not conservative. Maybe that’s what this really is. A blog about my journey to becoming a contradiction in terms. A progressive traditionalist. A different kind of homemaker. 

I want to share my adventures in making a budget and reducing our debt. In figuring out this whole sewing thing. In surviving living in a rental. In reducing (but probably not eliminating) my carbon footprint. In muddling through a long distance marriage. In watching my way through Star Trek. And I want to do it without every other post making you feel bad because you don’t home-school your (possibly non-existent) children or understand the Bible references I use to describe why I baked a pie. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll still be reading those blogs. And enjoying them to pieces. I’m just going to try to go in a new direction. 

Bonus points if you got the Glee reference.